The Conqueror Approaches!

This week, I felt like I won something awesome, and I’m so excited to tell you about it! I started breaking my “rules” this week , and put to practice some more positive, confident thinking.

I had a co-worker who was really bitchy the beginning of the week. Why was she so non-communicative? So I thought “Everyone goes through a bad time, it probably has nothing to do with me.”  She said she didn’t want to talk about it, and I told her I’d just give her space to work it out.

Two days later, she greeted me with a big smile and asked me to go to happy hour. Once we were there, she thanked me for being understanding and told me briefly what was going on with her.  It was the first time I didn’t feel responsible for fixing someone else’s problems. It had nothing to do with me, and I think if I tried to help, it would have ended up worse.

Since I was going out for Happy Hour and later to a fancy university event, I realized that I only have work clothes and casual preppy work clothes. Nothing that was just fun and fancy. I bought two outfits just for going out. I broke so many “rules” that day by buying cute clothes, not on sale, knowing full well they might be too big in a month or two. I decided the world wouldn’t end if I spent some of my paycheck on what I had planned to put into savings. I celebrated my shopping with my best friend, who told me all about her boyfriend. I’m pretty sure they’re going to get married one day. Because I was so happy with my shopping and in general, she opened up more about her feelings in the relationship. I learned that when I’m tense and worried about other people are thinking about me, they sense the tension and become more tense themselves.

Finally, fancy dress event day! I styled my hair, put on my fancy duds and heels and went out looking glamorous. So much so that when I walked into the bar and found my work friends, they just looked at me and said “Wow! You look GREAT!”    As I walked around the event later, people came up to me and said “Wow!” and I thought, “I’m worth the effort to look this awesome everyday.”

 

Finally, I realized that I don’t like the cute guy from work. He was  to come out with us before the event and he wouldn’t tell us if he was coming or not. I waited for a half hour then left, only to find him already at the event.  I said to him “Seems we had a miscommunication. I waited for you.” and he acted like he was never going out! I didn’t make a big deal about it, since we were in a crowd of work-folk but I said to my co-worker. “His actions show he doesn’t respect our time. I won’t exclude him from other outings, but I won’t ever wait on him again.”

I think what I really learned this week is that when I really put myself first and think about my own needs, things work out better, and my relationships with others improve and focus better. When I gave my co-worker space and didn’t take her burden on, she handled it and came to me when she was ready to have fun. I wasn’t associated with her problems. When I took the time to take care of myself and my appearance, people were more open and friendly to me.  They also listened to what I had to say instead of spacing out. And when I became more genuine in expressing my own needs and requirements from others, I learned who is a friend, and who is a person I’ll be friendly to at work.

Pretty great, right?

 

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Posted by missmccracken on December 10, 2011

http://bloggart.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/the-conqueror-approaches/